My Near Death Experience


Near death experience was one of the most beautiful things that have ever happened to me. I was 16 years old at the time it happened and I had always known that our physical body and this physical world was just one part of our reality. 

I had a mononucleosis. I had been sick for about two months already and I had difficulties to breath because my throat was so swollen. At that day I was ready to let go of all the pain. I decided to let go of trying to survive. I knew I´d be happy on the other side. Here was only pain. I couldn´t speak, I couldn’t swallow even a drop of water because my throat and tongue were so swollen. I had no strength left, nobody could help me and I felt I was left on my own. 

One evening I couldn’t take it anymore. I was ready to go back home to love and light. I could breath only if I held my jaw in a certain position. Obviously I was able to do that only when I was awake. I knew that the exact moment I fell asleep I would stop breathing. I had always known that when people die they just leave this world and enter another dimension. I was never afraid of dying and now I felt so happy to go back. I knew I´d be happy there.

I had never experienced such a peace and harmony then over the other side. I was floating in a serenity. There was no time in that place just overwhelming love that flushed through every cell of my body. And when that happened I realized I did not have a body anymore. There was just me left. That eternal, beautiful soul that I truly was. 

I was in the most beautiful place. It wasn’t  quite a room but more like a garden. I saw Jesus there. He welcomed me. I saw my angels standing around me. I realized that my family members from this life were there too. In that moment I understood that we all live in a physical bodies, but at the same time we live in the Spiritual dimension. We are so much more than just these bodies of ours. It felt so good because it was something I had known deep down in my heart already.  

At that moment it was all clear. There is nothing but LOVE. Love is all there is. Anything else isn’t real. Only love is. I was so happy and loved. There is no words to express how I felt. I cried happy tears. Well, of course there weren’t tears really because we weren’t in physical world. I knew I had come home. I heard a gently voice who told me I was very welcome and that they had missed me. I knew I had come to a place what was called heaven. I knew it was really a home.

Suddenly I felt I was forcefully teared back to my body. The pain I had was excruciating. I realized my aunt had tried to wake me up because she realized I wasn’t breathing anymore. I looked at her and I had never felt that much anger. She had taken me away from that one place I felt happy, loved and pain free! I cried and tried to tell her to let me go. 

I fell asleep again. I was back at home in love and light very quickly. I felt the serenity in me, that happiness and love I felt there cannot be described in words. I knew everything there. I knew why I was there. They told me I needed this experience as a human and that they loved me so much. They did not wanted me to suffer but this needed to happen right now. They told me I was taken care of even times I felt I wasn’t. They had been with me all the time.

And again I was pulled back in my aching body. I was devastated to be back in pain and in my sick body. I was so angry and felt I was betrayed. If they love me how can they let this all happen. I was trying to yell my aunt to let me die but could hardly say a word. She said she won´t let me die, I was too young for that. 

I was so tired trying to argue with my aunt that I fell asleep immediately. I soon was floating in space where there isn’t time or other limits. I had come back home in love and light. I heard the same gently voice again telling me that they really do love me and I could decide whether I wanted to go back or stay in love. They did not want me to feel pain or misery. All they wanted was me to be happy and feel loved. 

When you are in love there is nothing but love. There is no space for anything else but love. Just pure love! 

I told them I wanted to stay there and not to go back. They told me it was completely my own decision. They did suggest me to go back because I would have so much to come in my life in future. I was introduced to my 4 children who I would give birth later in my life if I decided to go back. My children told me they loved me so much and couldn’t wait to get to meet me in life on Earth. 

I was told that if I decided to go back they would love me and support my decision. If I wanted to stay in heaven they would still love me just as much and support my decision also.  No matter what I decided to do, they would love me. That was so amazing. To actually experience what it means when there´s only love. No criticizing just love and acceptance. 

They warmly encouraged me to have faith and go back. They told me that I´d have few difficult years ahead of me, but after that everything would work out for me. I said I can´t go back to that pain anymore. It is just too much for me. They said they would ease my pain and give me strength. They said I did not need to worry about not being able to drink or eat anything. They had been taking care of me all that time. I was still alive because it was not my time yet. I would be able to really sleep now, not just hanging in there somewhere between unconsciousness and a dream. They told me that I would get help in two days and that I would get better. 

I woke up in my body. I wasn´t feeling any pain at all. I could breath with ease. That was so amazing. I was so happy I was in tears again. I told my aunt that she could go now because I could sleep without dying. She did not go anywhere, but I fell asleep immediately feeling happy. I knew that things would get better and if I just could manage through these few years, there were good things to come into my life. I felt loved by Heaven and God. 

And in just two days I finally got into hospital and started to get better.

Merja LaukkanenComment